


A Safe Place

by beekeepercain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beekeepercain/pseuds/beekeepercain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There was too much skin between them, too much flesh, too many bones. Dean had been closer than this - so much closer. And maybe one day he'd be there again, but until then, he was stuck with trying to claw his way back in. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Safe Place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vhanstiel (Wongvhan)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wongvhan/gifts).



> Sweet everliving Chuck in Heaven, I took my damn time for a short fic like this.
> 
> Happy belated birthday, Vhan!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The time they spent together wasn't stolen from anyone.  
That's what Dean kept telling himself. For once, _you do deserve_ , that's what he was trying to sink through his thick skull. It wasn't working, not really, but the way Castiel felt there with him mixed in with that pain and guilt like anesthesia. The angel never asked why he had those tears in his eyes. At first he'd been ashamed, tried to hide them. Now they just came. He let them out, because afterwards he felt less burdened, like the tears were bringing out lead from inside his soul; they were unspoken fears and countless old nightmares turned physical and banished, the sort he wouldn't have been able to put into words even if he'd known what they were.

His fingertips traced the older male's skin like it was a fine work of art. The bed underneath them seemed to sway a little, like a boat on gentle waves, and the air wavered with something thick like they were already underwater. Drowning, but in the best of ways. Dean closed his eyes and smiled. He felt the other in him, felt him moving, and pressed his thighs against Castiel's sides more tightly to bring him just that much closer. His warmth, his presence - he was breathing against Dean's face and the recycled air that took space inside the taller's nostrils smelled faintly of mint. It was always like that, _always_ , every single damn time.  
Distantly, Dean thought that if he'd ever end up losing the other, mint would remind him of Castiel more than anything else. He chuckled, suffocated, and another tear fell out. He raised his head to find the male's lips, kissed them, brought his hand up to the older's thick, soft hair and held him closer. They were never close enough, not even when as much of their bodies was touching as was humanely possible. There was too much skin between them, too much flesh, too many bones. He'd been closer than this - so much closer. And maybe one day he'd be there again, but until then, he was stuck with trying to claw his way back in.

The taste of the angel's skin, the feel of it pressing against Dean's nose, the _scent_ of it, it all combined with the movements of his body against the younger's. Dean felt him sliding down and caught the lobe of his ear between his lips, sucked on it, and Castiel stayed to feel that, just still enough to not move any further down. His enjoyment was like an inaudible purr, a warm lingering sensation between them. Dean rolled his hips against the older's, making him slide just that much deeper - then deeper again - a strained moan slipped past his lips into the angel's ear and he held on tighter, as if fearing he might fall if he didn't.

Sparkles of light like stars somewhere far above danced across his vision, and he realised he was still holding his eyes closed. He didn't want to open them - the sensations, the other so near him, was more real to him this way like nothing he could see would be able to match. They broke reality; to Dean, he was somehow more alive when he was blind to the world. He created another universe just like this, but it was a better one, and he left behind the shadows that followed him in his everyday life on the other side. Castiel was his drug of choice, a runaway train somewhere so far he couldn't even find himself from there anymore. And that... that was everything he needed.

He was left with the feeling of the drying trails upon his cheeks that his own tears had left behind when Castiel pulled away from him, but before he'd more than whimpered to complain, the other was upon him again, kissing his lips while adjusting his balance over him so that he could pull Dean's hips over onto his. The whimper turned into something in the likeness of a long moan, and by the end of it, Dean had finally opened his eyes to the room lit by a single candle on the shelf above them. He wasn't the only one escaping; he could never tempt Castiel into anything if the lights were on. This was a compromise, relieving them of stumbling in pitch black darkness yet still allowing the feel of privacy. Neither knew for certain what they were hiding from, but hiding was necessary, something they required in order to let go and just be close.

The whole act was sacred somehow. They'd gone there multiple times by now, enough for Dean to lose count, but he still had issues communicating. It had never been a problem with anyone before Castiel, but he wasn't used to performing a ritual while making love. In fact, he wasn't used to making love at all, just having sex, and that made him uncertain of how to signal the most basic things now, how to take control within this strange new set of rules. He tried, and little by little it seemed that Castiel was learning to read his clumsy efforts. He pushed his hips against the older's again and felt Castiel's hand sliding under his upper back for support as his thrusts turned faster. Dean let out a small sound and closed his eyes again, a hint of a smile lost upon his lips.  
To say _harder_ in this space they occupied would have been on par with sacrilege. He was glad he didn't have to, hadn't had to and wouldn't have to. Silence was as necessary as darkness to create this place for them.

There were words stuck inside him, broken sentences he couldn't put back together, but through it all, he just smiled into the next kiss they shared. His body was tingling with electricity, trapped in a sort of increasing tension that covered him from head to toe and stole his breath away, but he could feel that same in Castiel. He slid his hand between them, holding it still there upon his own length, just waiting for now, knowing it wouldn't take long - the angel above him breathed out a wavering, lengthy moan and arched his back, shaking. Dean's free hand turned to stroking his hair clumsily, heatedly, while his whole body tensed in arousal and expectation. His mouth curved into an awed smile as Castiel's eyes met his, and then it was his turn; he couldn't hold back - _wouldn't_ hold back - when the other was overtaken by his pleasure and for a moment was so close to Dean he could almost feel that energy trapped inside him shine through his skin.  
Darkness was like a wave that crashed Dean's consciousness and wiped it clean like it was nothing but sand on a glass surface. Through such intense pleasure he couldn't even breathe as long as it lasted. Dean felt Castiel's lips on his tingling mouth, kissing him as if to keep him there, still somewhat rooted to reality, and Dean's fingers clawed at the angel's back before he relaxed again, heart beating frantically in his chest, trying to find its rythm again.

The only thing he did for a while was simply to breathe.

Castiel moved down next to him, their bodies disconnecting unwillingly. The older male brought his arm around Dean and pressed his nose against the taller's shoulder, smiling; Dean could feel the curve of his lips.

"Never go, Cas - ever."

The smile stayed.  
"I will stay," the angel said quietly in turn.  
With every repeated promise, he managed to convince Dean a little bit more. Tonight, the younger fell asleep with a smile for the first time in all the time he could consciously remember.


End file.
